to lucy miller on her sixth birthday

My girl,

I keep searching for 4’s to put on your cake. That seems about right, but Sullivan caught me and informed me that you will be 6 instead and that seems so unreal. While it just seems like you were born, on the other hand it always seems like you’ve been with us-giving our family that magical spark that only you can. Have I mentioned how we need you??

Last year your 5th birthday happened in the midst of intense trauma for our family. I barely remember it. Nevertheless you danced and twirled your heart away with your best friends and made me feel like a good mama for pushing through. The days following were heartbreaking as I watched you reel from something that wasn’t your fault. But you are light and that light pushed through the darkness and you are here on the other side.

Our year was made extra special with three visits to the New Hampshire cousins and all the fun and chaos that comes with that. You love baby Avonlea and want to help with her. We also got to go visit my friend Ashlee and her new baby Mary. Oh you were in heaven.

This year we moved to a house the the woods and you and I spent many a summer night sitting in our dresses in the cool water of our creek. You love the woods-climbing trees and playing hide and go seek.

We also got a dog this year-Grover. You love him…almost to death. The poor thing can hardly get away from your all consuming love and hugs. “Gwova! Gwova!” you yell every time that we get home and you race the bruddas to him.

You started kindergarten this year and it was as seamless as any transition could ever hope to be. You love learning. You love Spanish and you love your teacher. You also got glasses to wear at school and you look so cute it hurts. You’re not quite reading yet but I will take the blame for that. I haven’t worked very hard at it with you. You’re still writing backwards a good amount of time. I secretly love it.

You poor thing. Your brothers are pretty much relentless with you-despite my best efforts. You are a scrappy little thing who will defend herself till the end. You have started scratching back and it’s brutal. Hopefully they’ll learn their lessons soon. When there’s fighting I’m secretly on your team and I’m glad you stick up for yourself. But cool it on the scratches…

You started ballet classes for real this year and I get to watch you dance your heart out every week and it is HEAVEN. You are by far the most graceful and thoughtful dancer out there. You are also very bossy and demanding of keeping the other girls in line. I think you think you’re the teacher. You’re doing tap too which is SO CUTE. You were Shirley Temple for Halloween and it just made my life. Like some people dream about meeting a celebrity but seeing you as Shirley Temple, this took the cake for me. I got to take you with your Grandmama and Jojo to the Nutcracker ballet this Christmas. You sat bouncing on my lap just entranced by the dancers and the set. It was a dream come true to have you there with me, my tiny dancer.

You are the funniest little thing and make us crack up all the time.

Oh Lucy Miller. You are such a gift to this world, to this mama’s heart. I don’t know what I would do without the joie de vivre you give my life.

I pray you know my love and the love of our Father in heaven so deep down that it is rooted like the trees we love so much.

You are the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world,

Mama