held | the birth of levi

I have chills as I write this…this beautiful, holy story of a baby boy who defied the odds and a God who holds us near. It’s a story close to my heart, as all my birth stories are.

Jenifer and Joe were given 0.5% chance of ever conceiving a baby. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at the young age of 29 . 12 medicated rounds, 1 IUI, 4 adopted embryos, 2 frozen embryo transfers, 1 pregnancy ending in a miscarriage, 3 failed adoptions matches, and they finally became parents when they adopted beautiful Sam into their family in an open adoption.

After dealing with pre-menopause symptoms, Jenifer switched all her beauty products to natural non paraben products. Immediately she saw a balance in hormones, she eliminated foods that caused inflammation and saw an even bigger change. Not long after her body regulating, when Sam was 1.5 years, baby Levi was conceived 100% naturally.

Jenifer writes: “I had been doing a Bible study that spring, and one excerpt talked about how both Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all had wives that at some point struggled with infertility or being barren. God remembered every single one of them. In my prayers over the last five years I never felt God was saying no to me carrying a child. But I asked him that if it was His will if he would remember me just like he did those ladies.”

The pregnancy was riddled with anxiety as each appointment came and went without bad news. I remember when Jenifer called me she talked about her birth as if it might not even happen. I was so honored to be asked to be their doula and plans went into place for a peaceful, unmedicated delivery. And then baby Levi decided he wanted to be breech. Jenifer did everything right: yoga, laying on an ironing board upside-down, chiropractor, massage, special tea and yet he flipped and flipped and ended up butt down. They thought about having a version to turn him but decided against it when they saw the low fluid on the ultrasound. It was decided that a c section would be preformed a few days later. My doula self silently wondered if I should encourage them to wait a few days to see if he would turn back but they had the facts and had made a decision that I would stand by.

“I realized him coming safely was more valuable to me than the way he was birthed. However that doesn’t mean I excepted his fate well. I sat in the target parking lot and balled my eyes out.”

She told me over the phone that she sat in the underwear aisle of Target too and cried and cried because she couldn’t find the right underwear to go over her coming c section scar.

So after a good cry it was decided that we were going to have the most peaceful, joy-filled cesarian birth ever. I showed up to the hospital room and both Jenifer and Joe were grinning ear to ear. I got there just in time for Jenifer to find out that she was actually contracting (a dream of hers to feel contractions) and a sign that baby Levi was ready. We got a call that Sam (who was at their in-law’s house) had seen an airplane outside and said “That’s Mama and Daddy going to get baby Levi!).

We spent the morning laughing, looking out at the blue ridge mountains, and talking about God’s goodness all to the happy heartbeat of baby Levi.

Then I walked the long hall with Jenifer to the OR (Joe had to wait till the spinal had been given to come back). Once we were in the OR, things sort of warped for me. An OR is a strange place with strange sounds, and everyone in masks. It was in this strange place that I supported Jenifer as she got her spinal and then they laid her down on the table. They then went to get the routine heart tones. Silence. Awkward silence. They pushed around her belly like it was jello and kneaded into it like it was bread. Still nothing. They brought in another machine because they thought it was broken. I mean, we had just heard healthy heart tones minutes before. Second machine found nothing, nothing, nothing until they got a faint BPM of 60 and that’s when the OR erupted into action. “STAT SECTION NOW!” yelled the doctor in a steady but fearful voice. I held my camera to my stomach with one hand, and grabbed Jenifer’s with the other and let her squeeze. I said words I don’t remember. My heart was pounding out of my chest and everything seemed like it was underwater. I prayed a prayer that barely had words. It was eerily quiet as they worked and just a minute later he was born. I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t hear him. Worship music blared from the speakers and for the first time I was aware of the words. Blood spilled over and splashed on the floor. I thought he was dead. I thought she might be soon. Baby gave some muffled cries under the oxygen mask, my heart leapt. A nurse brought in a confused and worried Joe. And then I remembered my camera.

As best as they can tell, the spinal had caused her blood pressure to bottom out and her placenta abrupted. It was emergent, life or death. The thought of her, a hallway away, laboring gave me chills. The thought of her at home gave me chills. The best place for her placenta to abrupt was on that OR table at that exact time and that’s exactly where she was…held. Jenifer at one point, asked if she could see her placenta, and the doctor told her that it was already gone, that it had come out in pieces.

In recovery I helped a calm Jenifer try to nurse while trying to convey the minutes that Joe had missed to him. Levi was pink and full of healthy cries.

I went to see them a few days later, the day Sam met him. Oh the miracles those two boys are. Oh the signs of God remembering their prayers.

“I have learned that when you are praying, hoping for something, at times you don’t always get the big miracle at the end. But never doubt the power of Jesus, the power of prayer. Never loose faith. It was scary. But as a sweet friend reminded us, “Fear is a liar! Don’t let it control you.” I fully believe God had His hand of protection on us the entire time.”

And now I’m honored to tell their story through pictures.