baby love and his grande entrance into this world | a pandemic birth

I met the Loves one cozy February day before the world fell to pieces. I sat across from them at a local bakery and proceeded to fall in love with them as the minutes ticked by. Their questions had me rolling, their desire to birth to hard core rap was endearing, and their back and forth banter was like the most well oiled dance (hip hop of course). I couldn’t wait to attend their birth as their doula and document the whole thing as their photographer.

We met right before the birth on their porch for a planning session and I arrived to William decked out in Corona beer garb. That little gesture was such a relief after weeks of being at home and the heaviness of a country in sorrow. That’s the thing, even in the midst of grief babies come and they bring joy, joy, joy. You can’t stop it. This sweet couple was ready for the ride even though a lot felt up in the air and their attitudes were so uplifting.

What wasn’t up in the air for this birth was that they could be together, supported by a doula and surrounded by a caring midwife and a nurse. It would be different and masked (not for mama!) but they would be held. My heart was breaking into pieces for other families who had stories planned and who had to give up their support at that time. The WNC Birth Center was incredible in calming anxious spirits and delivering babies into a world where everything was up in the air.

No matter what, I knew that this family was not going to have an average birth story, but I thought it was going to be doing hip circles to some Anderson Paak or something to do with the pandemic.

Fast forward to just a normal day on my end. I get a text that Lisa’s water had broken! I was so excited but also pacing myself because she was a first time mom and oftentimes premature rupture of membranes can mean hours of waiting for contractions to start. I encouraged them to call the midwives and told them to check back in soon. An hour went by and I hadn’t heard anything so I called up Dad. He answered kind of panicky and I could hear Lisa roaring in the background. He said very matter of factly “Her contractions are every minute, for a minute, for the last hour. And she feels like she needs to push. Do you think we should head in?” In a flurry of thoughts I told him I thought they should call 911 to come deliver the baby because I knew they were pretty far from the birth center. He told me they were gonna make it to the birth center and I jumped in my car and off we raced.

I have pretty bad driving anxiety and never speed, but somehow the adrenaline was pumping and I screeched into the parking lot in my mini van (Fast and the Furious style). I saw a group of people surrounding a car and I jumped out as fast as I could, adjusting my camera settings for the bright sun, and showed up to Lisa just casually pushing her baby out standing outside her car. The scene was so calm and joyful. The sun felt lovely and it felt like Spring. William (in his Corona garb again! ha!) filmed the whole thing with the biggest smile on his face. The midwives were laughing and their hands were steady waiting to catch this baby who was so anxious to be born.

2 minutes after me arriving Lisa roared her boy into the world while neighbors were gawking on their dog walk and the sun illuminated it all.

“You did it!” I yelled! Shocked and tickled at the perfect birth story for these three.

The hours that followed were sacred like they always are. There was bravery while being repaired (and clinging onto Dad), supportive hands, fingers feeling the rush of life in the chord. There was baby wrinkles in the lamp lit room and french fries being fed. There was SUCH GRATEFULNESS dripping from their lips. I watched them from afar, huddled like a football team and then bowed out quietly as they sank into the greatest, most saturating, safest love nest right in the center of a pandemic. I knew we would be alright.

held | the birth of levi

I have chills as I write this…this beautiful, holy story of a baby boy who defied the odds and a God who holds us near. It’s a story close to my heart, as all my birth stories are.

Jenifer and Joe were given 0.5% chance of ever conceiving a baby. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at the young age of 29 . 12 medicated rounds, 1 IUI, 4 adopted embryos, 2 frozen embryo transfers, 1 pregnancy ending in a miscarriage, 3 failed adoptions matches, and they finally became parents when they adopted beautiful Sam into their family in an open adoption.

After dealing with pre-menopause symptoms, Jenifer switched all her beauty products to natural non paraben products. Immediately she saw a balance in hormones, she eliminated foods that caused inflammation and saw an even bigger change. Not long after her body regulating, when Sam was 1.5 years, baby Levi was conceived 100% naturally.

Jenifer writes: “I had been doing a Bible study that spring, and one excerpt talked about how both Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all had wives that at some point struggled with infertility or being barren. God remembered every single one of them. In my prayers over the last five years I never felt God was saying no to me carrying a child. But I asked him that if it was His will if he would remember me just like he did those ladies.”

The pregnancy was riddled with anxiety as each appointment came and went without bad news. I remember when Jenifer called me she talked about her birth as if it might not even happen. I was so honored to be asked to be their doula and plans went into place for a peaceful, unmedicated delivery. And then baby Levi decided he wanted to be breech. Jenifer did everything right: yoga, laying on an ironing board upside-down, chiropractor, massage, special tea and yet he flipped and flipped and ended up butt down. They thought about having a version to turn him but decided against it when they saw the low fluid on the ultrasound. It was decided that a c section would be preformed a few days later. My doula self silently wondered if I should encourage them to wait a few days to see if he would turn back but they had the facts and had made a decision that I would stand by.

“I realized him coming safely was more valuable to me than the way he was birthed. However that doesn’t mean I excepted his fate well. I sat in the target parking lot and balled my eyes out.”

She told me over the phone that she sat in the underwear aisle of Target too and cried and cried because she couldn’t find the right underwear to go over her coming c section scar.

So after a good cry it was decided that we were going to have the most peaceful, joy-filled cesarian birth ever. I showed up to the hospital room and both Jenifer and Joe were grinning ear to ear. I got there just in time for Jenifer to find out that she was actually contracting (a dream of hers to feel contractions) and a sign that baby Levi was ready. We got a call that Sam (who was at their in-law’s house) had seen an airplane outside and said “That’s Mama and Daddy going to get baby Levi!).

We spent the morning laughing, looking out at the blue ridge mountains, and talking about God’s goodness all to the happy heartbeat of baby Levi.

Then I walked the long hall with Jenifer to the OR (Joe had to wait till the spinal had been given to come back). Once we were in the OR, things sort of warped for me. An OR is a strange place with strange sounds, and everyone in masks. It was in this strange place that I supported Jenifer as she got her spinal and then they laid her down on the table. They then went to get the routine heart tones. Silence. Awkward silence. They pushed around her belly like it was jello and kneaded into it like it was bread. Still nothing. They brought in another machine because they thought it was broken. I mean, we had just heard healthy heart tones minutes before. Second machine found nothing, nothing, nothing until they got a faint BPM of 60 and that’s when the OR erupted into action. “STAT SECTION NOW!” yelled the doctor in a steady but fearful voice. I held my camera to my stomach with one hand, and grabbed Jenifer’s with the other and let her squeeze. I said words I don’t remember. My heart was pounding out of my chest and everything seemed like it was underwater. I prayed a prayer that barely had words. It was eerily quiet as they worked and just a minute later he was born. I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t hear him. Worship music blared from the speakers and for the first time I was aware of the words. Blood spilled over and splashed on the floor. I thought he was dead. I thought she might be soon. Baby gave some muffled cries under the oxygen mask, my heart leapt. A nurse brought in a confused and worried Joe. And then I remembered my camera.

As best as they can tell, the spinal had caused her blood pressure to bottom out and her placenta abrupted. It was emergent, life or death. The thought of her, a hallway away, laboring gave me chills. The thought of her at home gave me chills. The best place for her placenta to abrupt was on that OR table at that exact time and that’s exactly where she was…held. Jenifer at one point, asked if she could see her placenta, and the doctor told her that it was already gone, that it had come out in pieces.

In recovery I helped a calm Jenifer try to nurse while trying to convey the minutes that Joe had missed to him. Levi was pink and full of healthy cries.

I went to see them a few days later, the day Sam met him. Oh the miracles those two boys are. Oh the signs of God remembering their prayers.

“I have learned that when you are praying, hoping for something, at times you don’t always get the big miracle at the end. But never doubt the power of Jesus, the power of prayer. Never loose faith. It was scary. But as a sweet friend reminded us, “Fear is a liar! Don’t let it control you.” I fully believe God had His hand of protection on us the entire time.”

And now I’m honored to tell their story through pictures.

the sacred birth of delilah ember | amanda's story

Six years ago, I had a new baby girl myself and attended the birth of a baby boy. It was a long labor and it bonded me to Amanda and Kurt as I watched them become parents. Fast forward a few years and I attended the birth of their daughter one special Christmas morning. This third baby came one cold December night. Amanda is the most prepared human I have ever met. She had planned and prepped everything for this birth. It was her first birth at the WNC Birth Center and she was dreaming of a peaceful water birth. But if you’re in the birth field you know, no one can plan for birth…

Amanda show up that night…done. She had been having prodromal labor for weeks, she was throwing up all the time and she just wanted her baby earthside. After being checked she wasn’t quite to a place to be admitted. The midwives were so kind and encouraging and told her to stay two hours to see how things progressed.

It was dark. It was so dark and peaceful in that room as we encouraged Amanda to rest and let her body do its thing. Music filled the room as she softly moaned through the waves. Then she couldn’t sit still. All the while I’m thinking she’s going to have to go home and this might not be it.

Then as her love supported her (literally) she started making sounds that confirmed for me that she wasn’t going anywhere. She got in the shower for relief and right before her two hours was up her water burst.

I thought we had time to fill up the tub, to turn up the lights a bit…but baby was coming.

When she found out the tub couldn’t be filled in time there was a moment where she yelled up into the sky “NOOOOOOOOO”. And then she focused and a few short pushes brought this precious one forth. Not one of her carefully labeled bags had even made it inside.

Immediately. Immediately the veil of weariness lifted and Amanda was so full of love and light. She ate and it stayed down. I just watched her breastfeeding, smiling and eating and bouncing around like a giddy school girl. It was a beautiful sight.

And when those siblings came to meet their baby sister….oh my heart. The tenderness, the joy, the snuggles with their beautiful mama. I felt like I was the fly on the way to a miracle.

Wamsley family, I am so honored (I think you know this) to have been there for the birth of all three of your babies. The way you support, Kurt, is inspiring. Amanda, you are a birth goddess, pure and simple. You’re strength is staggering. You’ll always have a special space in my heart

This blog post contains beautiful images of raw and real birth and nudity.