to sullivan on his 13th birthday
Dear giant, taller than me, grown man valentine child,
You tower over me now. I cannot believe 13 years ago you were so tiny and new and now when you hug me you have to hunch over. In the past 3 months you have grown SO tall, your voice is SO deep, and you just aren’t a little boy anymore! Sometimes I have to remember you’re not a grown adult! Ha!
Well we’ve has a lot of quality time this year…in the ER. In the past few months you have slipped and fallen on a mason jar and cut the side of your butt so deep that you had to get stitches…this happened when I wasn’t home-your brother saved the day with a belt to stop the bleeding. It was not fun. Then a few weeks ago you were playing football at school at lunch and someone tackled you and you broke your pelvis! But the crazy thing is you walked around on it for a few hours and by the time you got home it was hurting pretty bad. After a chiro visit we thought it was sciatica and so I was forcing you to stretch it for 4 days! You got really, really bad and I’ve never seen a human not about to give birth in so much pain. Broke my heart! You’re tough and quiet.
Speaking of quiet, the other day I just said to you in the kitchen
“Sully, you’re gonna have to be a squeaky wheel sometimes!”
You literally are the opposite of the other two. Quiet, a bit more chill, and kind of an inward processor. I don’t want you to get so middle childed here but I think it’s happening by default.
I adore you the way you are. I love how quiet you are but then you pop up with these insanely hilarious one liners. You still love and find animals everywhere you go, especially (to my horror) snakes. You are so into fishing right now and go every chance you get.
It kind of bothers me that authority figures often talk to me about you having the potential to be a leader. I don’t think the world should be made up of all leaders, we wise followers and that is my prayer for you. That you will follow the right people or follow your own self.
Right now you are at the most awkward and hilarious stage. Like 3 months ago I had to force you to shower and now you fix your hair and shop for cologne. Lucy got you old lady curlers as a joke for Christmas and you wore them for real. Cracked me up. You also seem to be trying on all kinds of personas, just finding your way like we all do. I hope that over this next year you find you don’t have to become anything, that you are your own kind of magic we all need.
Your dad took you to Hawaii this December and it you haven’t been the same since. It was paradise for you. You even did a very, very intense 9 mile hike.
You played football and ended up playing quarterback about half the time. You were SO SO good at it. You’re just so un-assuming I think it shocked people. You were steady and didn’t rush and threw some amazing touch downs.
Finding photos felt sooooo painful (like growing pains painful). Here’s something I noticed. That photos after Jimmy came…your little spark came back. Actually, to be honest…I almost broke up with him after our 2nd date and he mentioned how much he loved hunting for salamanders at the river and he had that same twinkle you used to get. I suddenly starting thinking…wait a minute, this guy could be more than just for me. The day I introduced you all we went to the river and both of you were gone in your own little worlds. I have seen that spark come back more and more and more ever since.
This past weekend you had a man date and found the perfect cologne for the school dance next weekend.
I love you so very much. I am pretty positive you’re gonna live your life on the beach somewhere fishing and enjoying the slow life. You joke you’re gonna find a wife who makes a good living so you can just fish.
I’m so glad you’re here, you’re a breath of fresh air to this family of deep feelers and fast movers.
Love Mama
