Helen Joy’s Photographer Blog

Helen Joy George 2/4/15 Helen Joy George 2/4/15

to barclay on his sixth birthday

Oh my darling boy...My first born baby, 6 years ago they placed you into my arms.

I don't exactly want to say it went by so fast, because in a way I cannot remember life without you in it.

More so, I think I'm astounded by how much you've grown and changed since I first met you.

I thought, as a first time parent that I would shape you...but my dearest one, you have shaped me.

You have taught me everything I know about being a mother. It has been hard at times. I have wanted to run far away, at times. But it is the most worthy thing I have ever done.

This year was a big year for you.

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You started kindergarten at a spanish emersion program in our local school.

I was so afraid.

I felt so guilty that I was maybe ruining you.

Or that our lack of nature journaling free living homeschooling would make you hate learning.

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But you flew! You took off and love learning so much. Your teachers say you run into school every single day eager and full of sunshine.

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You grew out of your very loved 2T clothing just in the past few months. You're a tiny spitfire of a boy (just like your mama).

You love dressing yourself and proudly march into public wearing the craziest outfits. I love that. I love letting you do your thing.

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I cannot believe how much you and Sullivan fight and yet how tenderly you love each other. You look out for each other. Ever since Sullivan was born you've shared a room and it was NOT EASY. As soon as we move into a house big enough for each of you to have your own room, you refuse to sleep anywhere but wrapped up in eachother's arms.

I'm completely in love with it.

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You love Lucy Miller. You squeal with delight at her new tricks and tell anyone who will listen that your baby can walk, or your baby can talk. You carry her around (maybe a little too much for my liking), but you are vigilant about taking legos out of her mouth and making sure she is happy. I love watching you hold her.

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I see glimmers of myself in you.

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You just keep getting better. Even though part of my heart sinks at the thought of leaving milestones in our wake, you honestly just keep getting better.

These are some of my favorite things about you now:

Your freckles.

Your facial expressions.

Your deep questions about life and God.

Your care for others and your justice loving heart.

How much you don't care what anyone thinks of you.

I love when you get so lost in play that you just babble on and on.

I love watching you write letters and art projects, you are so very serious and concentrated and your tiny tongue sticks out on the side, like it always has.

View More: http://wildflowersphotos.pass.us/george

You are a miraculous work dear Barclay.

I am just giddy for the year ahead and seeing how you grow and what you will do.

I'm so glad you know how much I love you,

Your Mama

Last two photos by the artist Joy Prouty.

www.helenjoy.com

Helen Joy George 1/8/15 Helen Joy George 1/8/15

To Lucy Miller on her very first birthday

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Oh my darling girl,

A year has come and gone since you were placed in my arms and I treasured every single minute. Truly. I have hundreds of early mornings stored up in my heart as I watched your eye lashes flutter open and find me. There is no doubt in my heart that you don’t know the love we share.

You have brought so much joy into my soul. You have brought so much healing to my heart.

I remember laying on the operating table, and it seemed so peaceful. My favorite hymn was playing over the speaker and every single person in there was so kind. Emily was rubbing lavender on my head and the beautiful warm bright lights were shining all about. I remember the excitement of KNOWING I was about to meet you, and the fact that I wouldn’t have to worry if you would be alive.

You have taught me so much in your short life and your birth story has opened my heart to women in a new and exciting way. You knocked down walls of judgment and freed me to love and support no matter what.

I laugh when I think back to when I thought c section mamas couldn’t possibly bond with their babies as well. Ha!

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You are pure sunshine and delight. Other than your car seat, I can count on one hand the times I couldn’t console you which is a far cry from how it was with your brothers. God knew we needed you.

Everyone who looks into your eyes feels love. There is a warmth that drips from your eyes that is intoxicating and so very genuine. Even strangers comment to me how they feel when they look into your eyes.

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I can tell you are going to be kind and caring and gentle. But you are also a fireball thanks to your big brothers who love you and hang on your every coo.

You are content. So very content. I love watching you play with your simple toys (aka random things found on the floor). You prefer having fists full of whatever you are playing with. I would say your favorite toy at this point in time is a deck of playing cards. You crack me up as you very seriously one by one put them into one hand.

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I think more than anything, you have melted the ice of my heart and have allowed me to believe that God wants to bless me. Previously I had been living in fear of the next bad thing, but you were the literal and actual desire of my young, immature heart…every last detail of you.

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You are my rainbow baby. A treasure born after 3 losses.

Lucy Miller, I cannot imagine how our lives could be without you in it. I feel like I won the lottery to be your mama.

As sad as it is to leave behind your first year, I know that year two is going to bring so much beautiful change and I will get to hear more words and see you learn and grow.

Praising the Lord for your life, today and everyday.

Your Mama

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