Helen Joy’s Photographer Blog

Helen Joy George 2/18/15 Helen Joy George 2/18/15

finding the beauty in a hard life

I’m having a love hate relationship with my phone lately. It’s about 50/50 on the good/bad chart.

I cannot stand how often I look at it. Literally hundreds of times a day, leaving almost no time for just being still.

I’m learning how much that lack of being still and quiet is killing me slowly from the inside out. I realize how dissatisfied I have become with my life NOT because of what I am viewing on my phone but because of what I am missing because of it.

Real beautiful life. Moments with my children. Nature. Thoughts. Inklings in my heart.

But I also want to embrace the beauty of social media. I mean, in a way I think social media has saved my sanity. Deep connections in a lonely time of life when the daily grind of staying home with constant needs from little ones has saved me.

Not only that, but it has spurred me on to find beauty in whatever life gives me.

The most common complaint I hear from all my friends regarding social media is that it makes them feel not enough or jealous of the seemingly perfect life that many people portray through Facebook or instagram.

Here’s what I have to say about that. Yes. You could view it that way...

“Oh look at so and so doing a craft with their kid while I’m over here drowning in laundry and depression”.

Or you could view it like this.

“Wow. I know having a child is NOT EASY. I bet she has laundry waiting all around here but she chose to set things aside and do something for her child.”

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I have seen women with nearly NO earthly possessions find beauty in a simple twig in a simple vase.

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I’ve seen women I know who struggle with depression choosing to see beauty in the shadows that the sun brings in.

I see people who I know who’s hearts are breaking, finding joy in simple things. Who simply choose to keep on keeping on.

It makes me want to keep trying, keep finding beauty in my own life.

And on hard days when I feel like I will royally screw up my children, I glance through the images on my Instagram feed. I don’t see fake happiness. I see real moments throughout a hard and painful life that I chose to see the beauty.

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This post has been brewing in my heart for a few weeks now. And last night my

blossom friend Joy

, posted

the most eloquently written words

regarding something similar.

I love how she describes it as looking for the breadcrumbs.

So friends, if looking through social media makes you feel worse about yourself, you are either following the wrong people, or you are choosing to not celebrate with them that they are able to find the beauty.

It is there. Sometimes it is hard to see but it. is. there.

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And I just want to thank those around me for not being fake but for celebrating the tiny moments of joy and perseverance that you show me every day.

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www.helenjoy.com

Helen Joy George 2/14/15 Helen Joy George 2/14/15

to my sullivan love on his fourth birthday

Oh my funny valentine... You are (sigh)...You are like the warmest sweet breeze on my cold heart.

You are the absolute picture of tenderness.

View More: http://wildflowersphotos.pass.us/george

Your heart spills out love on all around you.

Pictures above by Joy Prouty

Pretty much every single time I tell someone about you, I tear up. Because you, my dear, you nearly weren't with us.

I don't look back on your birthwith fuzzy feelings but instead feel a panic in my heart as I remember when they took your limp body to the side to get you to breathe. I don't remember much until early the next morning when I was finally mentally able to get it together to hold you and nurse you and look at you.

And then we fell in love...

Following 2 pictures by Joy Prouty

You were born after the hardest year of our lives. Deaths and miscarriage and illness and just pure sadness. And you were our breath of warm air and as I often refer to you, the balm of my broken heart.

You are my snuggler and every single day, you need it...just like I do.

Waking up to, "Oh mama, you're so warm (pronounced waaaa-ymmmmm). Let's snuggle" is kind of the best.

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This year, you wore you bike helmet everywhere and I just ate it up.

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You dote on your big brother to a fault. I honestly can't believe how willing you are to share and give to him when he is so mean to you sometimes! But you are. You regularly give your very best "things" to him.

You are FUNNY. Like naturally hilarious and you don't even try.

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I've love love loved seeing you be a big brother to LM this year. Barclay is in school most of the day and you are really stepping up to the plate. You are so gentle with her and have actually started playing with her. It melts my heart!

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Your favorite activity IN THE WORLD is to light and relight a candle to blow out.

Your best buddy is Jude and ya'll just crack me up together. You pretty much never fight.

Actually come to think of it, you pretty much never fight with anyone (other than Barclay).

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You're a lover. A valentine in the flesh.

You are painfully handsome and your big brown eyes are like bottomless inkwells. And you can basically get away with anything if you slow blink your thick lashes at me.

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Your new thing this year is helping me cook. You are very helpful with anything I ask you for and I think you'll make someone a pretty rad husband one day!

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Sullivan, your heart is one of the most beautiful hearts. You allow me to feel things with you,emotionally, that my other babies don't. You have that deep, slow passion inside of you like I do. I think you are a work of art and I cannot wait to see you grow this next year.

Thank you for never denying me a tender hug or ever letting me go a day without hearing your contagious giggle.

I'm so glad I'm your mama.

Helen Joy George 2/4/15 Helen Joy George 2/4/15

to barclay on his sixth birthday

Oh my darling boy...My first born baby, 6 years ago they placed you into my arms.

I don't exactly want to say it went by so fast, because in a way I cannot remember life without you in it.

More so, I think I'm astounded by how much you've grown and changed since I first met you.

I thought, as a first time parent that I would shape you...but my dearest one, you have shaped me.

You have taught me everything I know about being a mother. It has been hard at times. I have wanted to run far away, at times. But it is the most worthy thing I have ever done.

This year was a big year for you.

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You started kindergarten at a spanish emersion program in our local school.

I was so afraid.

I felt so guilty that I was maybe ruining you.

Or that our lack of nature journaling free living homeschooling would make you hate learning.

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But you flew! You took off and love learning so much. Your teachers say you run into school every single day eager and full of sunshine.

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You grew out of your very loved 2T clothing just in the past few months. You're a tiny spitfire of a boy (just like your mama).

You love dressing yourself and proudly march into public wearing the craziest outfits. I love that. I love letting you do your thing.

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I cannot believe how much you and Sullivan fight and yet how tenderly you love each other. You look out for each other. Ever since Sullivan was born you've shared a room and it was NOT EASY. As soon as we move into a house big enough for each of you to have your own room, you refuse to sleep anywhere but wrapped up in eachother's arms.

I'm completely in love with it.

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You love Lucy Miller. You squeal with delight at her new tricks and tell anyone who will listen that your baby can walk, or your baby can talk. You carry her around (maybe a little too much for my liking), but you are vigilant about taking legos out of her mouth and making sure she is happy. I love watching you hold her.

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I see glimmers of myself in you.

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You just keep getting better. Even though part of my heart sinks at the thought of leaving milestones in our wake, you honestly just keep getting better.

These are some of my favorite things about you now:

Your freckles.

Your facial expressions.

Your deep questions about life and God.

Your care for others and your justice loving heart.

How much you don't care what anyone thinks of you.

I love when you get so lost in play that you just babble on and on.

I love watching you write letters and art projects, you are so very serious and concentrated and your tiny tongue sticks out on the side, like it always has.

You are a miraculous work dear Barclay.

I am just giddy for the year ahead and seeing how you grow and what you will do.

I'm so glad you know how much I love you,

Your Mama

Last two photos by the artist Joy Prouty.