How to actually ENJOY your wedding day AND get good photos

When my grandparents got married more than 60 years ago they had exactly one photo taken to remember the day. This photo is treasured by children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

When I first started photographing weddings 18 years ago, when blogs and pinterest were a new thing, I was struck with how much of the wedding day was consumed with getting photos. I was often handed a 2-3 page list of photos to recreate, dozens of combinations of people to capture while the couple stayed centered in the middle, and strict timelines. It didn’t take me long to realize that not only were my couples disassosiated from the day and their love for eachother, they weren’t getting the photos that they REALLY wanted.

Here are 5 tips to ensure that you and your partner ENJOY your wedding day AND get incredible photos you actually want:

*Have the goal to have how your wedding day FELT like instead of what it LOOKED like.

I promise you that you will have plenty of photos of how everything looked. The dress you so carefully selected, the candlesticks your aunt helped you find at antique stores, the way your father looked in his suit. Instead of worrying about capturing all of that, lean more into the imperfect details that show how it FELT on that day. Mostly this involves capturing the love surrounding you, the warmth of the candles that are dripping because the conversations were so good, or the blur of everyone dancing.

*Trust and let go.

You’ve been in charge of all the details up to this point, this is the time to let go of control, trust the people you’ve set in place, and enjoy how the day unfolds.

*Embrace imperfections

Trust me. The things that don’t quite go as planned usually end up being the stories you tell, the quirks that make your wedding day your own. So if your dad’s tie is crooked all day, the wind blows your veil 8 feet in the air, you dance so much you have to take your shoes off…believe me when I say those are the moments you will look back on in 20 years with a smile on your face. So put away that 5 page shot list you downloaded from pinterest and let your day be imperfectly yours.

*Don’t take all your photos directly after the ceremony.

Long gone are the days of lining up bridesmaids by height, getting lighting perfect, or spending 2 hours photographing everyone while your guests are enjoying the reception without you.

I never spend more than 15 minutes getting all the family photos (that you need to get before your uncle drinks too much wine, or your grandmother has to get to bed). This can be fun and candid and fast! And then I get a few shots of the couple connecting knowing that I have many opportunities to get others throughout the night. Maybe it is sneaking out for 5 minutes to capture the sunset or a tender kiss as you both take a breather from dancing the night away. Knowing there’s not just one chance to get photos opens up so many possibilities.

*Hire a photographer that is on the same page.

Hire a photographer who wants nothing more than for you to enjoy your day. They aren’t photographing for their blog or instagram, they aren’t trying to force their ideas of how the day should go. Hire someone who notices all the details that make the day yours because they are enjoying your day too.

Want to schedule a free 20 minute wedding consultation to see how I can help you enjoy your wedding day?

Schedule a no pressure phone call with me HERE

to sullivan on his 12th birthday

sweetest valentine of mine,

Another year, another year of watching you and trying to understand you. You are easily the most simple to please and yet so deeply complex that I feel like I will never know you.

You started your 12th year with an epic trip to the ocean to go fishing with Rainy, Bet Bet, and me. We caught fish, enjoyed a boat ride, and found sharks teeth in the river.

You continue to excel in everything relating to animals and nature. You find every live thing in a square foot, you light up when you tell me facts about animals you love, you melt every time we meet a dog.

You’re SO cute, Sullivan. Your grin is so michevious and impish. You actaully have a lot of friends despite moving schools 4 times in 4 years. I saw a picture from your first middleschool dance and you were in the middle surrounded by friends.

You’ve gotten in trouble quite a bit lately as you try to find your way out of your brother’s shadow and find your way. Thankfully nothing ill willed but mostly clever one liners that are hilarious and also not appropriate. You make me laugh regularly, and your timing is just perfection.

You are the artist I’ve always wanted to be. You sit for hours and create with such detail and precision. I can’t wait to see how you use it as you navigate your life. I have to be pretty frugal but I definitely you know I will never say no to art supplies.

I am so proud of you this year for trying out for all the sports and making it! Barclay starts and does so amazing and you could have decided that was too hard to try but you did and you made it and you are such a good teammate. I’m so proud of you for believing in yourself and cheering you on to make a basket at the last game on Thursday. \

You are my snuggliest kid by far and several times a day you come and sit on my lap even though you’re taller than me. You drape over my shoulders and ask for back rubs. I love it and I hope that when you’re 30 years old and over six feet you still sit on my lap.

Sullivan, I want to see your eyes sparkle more. I’m on the hunt to find something that lights you up and connects you with other people.

I’m so happy to be your mama.

I love you!

Mama

to barclay on his 14th birthday

My precious boy, my first born baby,

I don’t know what I’m doing being your mother, all I know is that you don’t make me feel like I need to have it all figured out. You give me so much grace and patience as I bobble my way through.

I think this year was the closest I’ve ever felt to you. As a newborn you cried and pushed me away (allergies) all the time, and you’ve just not been the snuggliest kid…but goodness you are fun right now. I love that we can connect on photography, thrifting, music, and just life and all that makes it beautiful.

I think one of the most proud times I’ve been of you was when you were telling me about a conversation at school and how you had stood up for people who had done really bad things and deserved punishments…but the way you described how those people had probably been harmed…it gave me a peek into the deeply compassionate man you are becoming and who you are.

You are so wild at heart, so manly, so happy and comfortable working with you hands, so quick to help.

You have really come back to the 9 year old Barclay style and love all things 1920s. I get such a kick out of seeing you dress up like an old man (but a super cool man).

This year I surprised you and took you to a Lumineers concert. Jumping up and down and singing at the top of our lungs, singing off pitch as loudly as we could, running through the streets of Charlotte late at night hand in hand…gosh I’ll never forget it. It felt so good to just be so happy and present with you.

You know this, but you are just insane at sports. Every single one you’ve touched, you’ve just become amazing at. Soccer has your heart though. Most of the time you are with a soccer ball just annoying all of us with the constant noise of hitting the ball. I think that sports have just given so much life into you, so grateful.

You are pretty intense (no clue where you get that from) and often are a bit strong…but the way you are around children is so soft and sweet and nurturing. I love watching you bend down to a small one at school or encourage someone at the park.

I am so shocked how much you talk to me. It feels so open and honest, and I keep hearing parts of your heart as you navigate being a teenager in this weird age. Often I’ll be editing at nights and you’ll just come sit next to me and we will talk about God, girls, school, the future…I don’t know if it will last but I am eating it up!

This next year you will start HIGH SCHOOL and although that feels insane to me…I also feel so sure that you’ll be ok. You have a good head on your shoulders and a very compassionate heart.

Being your mama is such a journey and an honor. Thanks for all the grace you give me, and all the great tunes you keep our little family set with.

Every year I say it, and every year I mean it…watching you become you is just magic.

I love you, Barclay.

Happy birthday.

Mama